talking of Michaelangelo.
Monday, June 27, 2005
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ahhhh!!! screammm // 10:27 pm
AHHHHH SCREAMSSS *screams even LOUDER*OH THIS IS A JOYOUS OCCASION TO SCREAM FOR! guess what?! i wen to
www.bleachportal.com and i tried to do the personality quiz for bleach character... GUESS who i got?
*ahemmm announces very loudly*
KUCHIKI RUKIA!I'M SO HAPPY EVERYONE... CELEB WITH ME. I DIDNT HAVE TO TRY TWICE TO GET RUKIA!!! I GOT RUKIA ON THE FIRST TRYYY!!!! SCREAMMMMMMM!
Take The quiz yourself at
www.bleachportal.com
Sunday, June 26, 2005
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// 9:38 am
lots of things to say.
too much to put down on blog. so i decided to shorten it.
thursdayhighlight: driving to earl haig with my dad ALLOWING it. didn't do a bad job. didn't panic.
others: going to earl haig for second summer section. josh kindly told me 3mins before class that we had HOMEWORK due that i DID not know of. =__="
lesson learned: always check email. always do homework.
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fridayhighlight: my brother's talent show. surprisingly.
others: my brother's talent show at brad's church turned out to be not bad. (considering that the rest of the day was spent piano-ing)
message: a very clear and good message from pastor tin. really shook me up. really got me thinking. the analogy was probably too deep for the kids to understand. God was speaking to me. dont put your watch away. it'll get old. similarly... dont put God in a box, and shove Him in the corner to gather dust. end result will be your own consequences... sin... leaving God out of everything... in other words: i need to do devos. now.
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todayhighlight: lunch, shopping, movie, dinner with connie. (as in my cuz)
others: insurance class. summed up by one word only: boredom. (i saw mella btw!! we're gonna be in it togethaa)
main highlights:
howls moving castletoo amazing to describe... brings me RIGHT BACK to that dream world that i always have. always. the boy who is too good to be true. the girl who's prettier than any princess there is. magic. love. tears. laughter. joy. oh the movie is so so good.... i can't even begin to understand how much i ABSOLUTELY adore Hayao Miyazaki... i think he is SO talented.... so very very very talented.
other: my mom and my cousin told me to "get real" today. stop sitting on a cloud and dream. it's wrong. it's time to get realistic.
my goodness. what is wrong with a little dreaming?! it's better than real life for sure.
Monday, June 20, 2005
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summer tediums // 8:38 am
one word: bored.
sums up two words: insurance class.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
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graduating class of 2005 // 1:01 am
[dedicated to the PCA graduating class of 2005]
just a few words for you all... wow. i am going to miss you a WHOLE lot.
your grade is SO unique. SO bright. SO loud. SO special. SO diverse. SO cool. you have NO idea how much i learned from you guys, just by watching you guys... hearing you guys... man... when i saw u guys last night with the lovely black robes... i know how much im gonna miss you guys... wooooow this is so emotional... *teer*
anyway, i just want to tell you guys that God will back you up no matter what...and that i will pray for you guys as you go your seperate ways.
you guys MADE IT THROUGH HIGHSCHOOL!!! congratulations from you little sister (me of course). can you BELIEVE that NEXT YEAR it's gonna be ME up there?! you guys better BETTER come to my grad....
lots of love....
Thursday, June 16, 2005
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sigh... // 11:04 am
my ma got mad. dad interested in reading my blog... this is the weirdest thing ever...
saw this really good-looking chinese boy today... yea he was like
hottt ...
anyway.. onto less SHALLOW matters... i finished reading my third book of the summer.... the list is as follows (in the order of most recent):
silent to the bone
throwaway daughter
something borrowed
here are the reviews... please dont call me a nerd for this:
[silent to the bone] - a fairly psychological book... with suspense, mysterious elements... a good read... easy ... but gets you thinking... i rate it 3.5 out of 5 stars
[throwaway daughter] - VERY touching. i could NOT put this book down... about the massacre at tiananmen square in beijing.... about chinese and them getting rid of their daughters... very good and touching book... i cried... i rate this 4.5 out of 5stars
[something borrowed] - quite similar to the sofie kinsella style (as in the shopaholic series) a very predictable spin at the end... but humourous. too many sexual elements for my innocent mind... but i got through it... it's not bad... but the morals are very surface and NOT very good... (as in... cheating on your soul mate sort of bad) other than that... it was an OKAY read.... i rate it 2.5 out of 5 stars.... i was able to put this book down at certain parts... again... the sexual elements was a little too much.... the author could simmer down a bit....
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
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russian haircut // 6:40 am
it's like NOT even my fault that i'm born ugly
it's like NOT even my fault that the russian guy decided that longger bangs look good on me okay?!
gosh it's like my mom thinks that it's always me. mayb my hair DOES look okay. mayb it's just HER.
maybe. maybe i am just SO ugly that i embarrass her.
i hate going to the barber.
stupid russian barber.
okay fine. it's my fault happy?! i hope the whole world is happy.
[people... bear with me... im just ranting... im not as mad as i sound, dont worry...] - or on the second thought mayb you should worry for my sanity 'cause all day and night i'm told that im UGLY!
Sunday, June 12, 2005
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healing x happier // 8:21 am
h.Squared now instead of d.Squared... getting better but not fully over with it.
just wanna dish out some thanks to those who helped me thru this thing... even though not even i know what it was.... in no particular order:
clara: i think u were first to experience my "fall" that day ... sorry for the silence in the car.... i appreciate you so much for just understanding... and just listening to be bla
sam: for tolerating my "leave me alone" and for the email
chibi: for making me smile like you always do and for telling me what i need to hear... btw the ramen duznt count ;)
curt: for telling me to turn back to God and for telling me about that void thing
tim: for listening and for the advice
kat: for telling me to tell my dad that... "..." quote thing i dont rmb it... something... i need to grow up... something... allow me to... something... lol
i guess im feeling better today... went to the lib to get ad's book list stuff... then went to ten rens and got a horrible yelling at... then... watched k.Drama... tons of it.... the guy is starting to get sweeter and sweeter... and the more he looses her ... the more he loves her.... the more i start to love him too ... hahahahaha okay whatever...
reading a new book called
the devil wears prada ... i dont think i shuld be reading books with so much swear words in it... i think i'll put it down the next time there's another f* bomb... neway... that's all for today...
Saturday, June 11, 2005
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i don`t know anymore // 9:04 am
i really don't know. tell me. someone please tell me. i think i know deep deeeep inside. im too stupid, too insecure, too scared to face it... too tempted, too sinful, too undeserving.... too... too... i dont know.
im a foolish person yes? yes. i dont know what im doing here on blogger at this moment. im reading a book about someone who's having an affair with her best friend's fiance. im watching the sweetest korean drama that breaks my heart and makes me laugh. but what am i REALLY doing? im so lost.
they tell me God will help me. i dont know how i feel about that. all i know is that i hate the devil - very very much.
... what am i doing? why am i depressed? why... why do i yearn for someone... to just... .... i have ppl like that. but why cant i learn to ... go to them instead of... yearning for other ppl's shoulder... or arms to wrap around me.
why do i want to choose where my tears fall? why am i asking why? why is my world clouding up to be... something so stupid every freaking night?
i go about the day... being alright... and being... "happy" but when there's silence... and there's darkness... and coldness.... i....
im so restless right now. all i do is fill up my life with noise. someone help me. everyone pray for me.
Friday, June 10, 2005
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i think this is what they call identity crisis // 1:00 pm
d.Squared - depressed x disappointed
i wish someone could or would just hold me when i cry. i wish they'd just gimme their shoulder and say "you can cry on it i dont mind" then put their arms around me.
i want God. i want to know God. but why am i.... why is my heart...
why?
such a foolish question.
i've done too many stupid things today and now im disappointed in myself. im disappointed for being disappointed. im disappointed that i ************ yea that's all gonna go. bye.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
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free as a faerie. free as a bird. free as a... u get the point // 10:02 am
so im finally free. today was my FIRST FULL DAY OF SUMMER VACATION! can everyone please shout HURRAY!! for me?! =)
so yesterday, cla, kat came over... we sed we'd go shopping... but we ended up watching "first daughter"... which made me SO MAAAD honestly. that movie... ugh... so yea... other than that... nothing much.
today. went for first driving lesson. funnn but my rear end hurt SO much after. lol... but funnn =) my instrutor joe chu (hilarious if u say it with a chinese accent) is really niceeee
i watched like 5 eps of korean drama today ... it's called
love in paris it is SO good and sweet. honestly... the girl... and the guy... and the other guy who loves the girl. omigosh... they're all so cute. i lovve korean ppl guyz.
other than that, whoever is reading this. please shout at me... or GET ME TO DO MY DEVOS. or SOMETHING. like i NEED some spiritual pushing or guiding or... just... MAKE ME DO DEVOS someone... like SCREAM at me please.
i need God more than ever. hk is in 27days and my dad refuses to buy me a plane ticket. pray for me. everything is finalized, just my dad's heart of worry is not. God help me be patient with his overprotectiveness. ppl pray that God will show me a PATH and a WAY and what i need to DO in hk... also pray for my gramma, her ma is passing away....... in other words... my greatgramma
thanks guys. bbq tomolo... hope to see u there.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
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let's seee..... // 9:37 am
exams... exams let's list which ones i failed:
math. (it's a given)
chem. (surprisingly... bad)
bio. (didnt study)
so tonight im planning to pull an allnighter to STUDY FOR BIO! w000t im gonna get out buckets of instant noodles and pillows to help me... okay now im going nutz
im going to hk. FOR SURE! i wanna screammmmm with joy. SCREAM. literally. my parents overreact to my excitement and is not very enthusiastic at all because they know im failing bio.
went to the hk class thing today... met some... interesting ppl. let's just say the WORLD IS TINY! lol.... okay more on that later... for now...
BIO BIO in the swimming pool. somedays it's hot somedays it's.... *shut up karen* okay*
Saturday, June 04, 2005
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i don't even wanna know... // 4:31 am
you know what? i failed math BIGTIME. i calculated that approx. i got 59%. then i came out and realized i did a lot more wrong than i had thought i did... oh how horrible art thou you math exam?!
bible was okay... "old farts" and "elephants" heehehe
laalalalala... at 4am last night derek told me a very inspiring quote that goes as follows:
karen: i think too much don't i?
*more stuff but cut out. it's none of your business what we were talking about... but here comes the quote*
derek: you'd be thinking too little if you didnt think that.
thanks derek. ^^
Friday, June 03, 2005
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exams exams // 6:48 am
music changed to Laputa: Castle in the Sky... it's a really lovely piece...
"hoi hoi!" - quote kikumaru eiji + kikumaru natsuki
"nyaaa..."- whines kikumaru eiji + kikumaru natsuki
die exams die. who doesnt agree? okay u can go die too lol. kiddings! i know im a horrible morbid little girl. okay i'll shush now.
today i got thru 2 exams... not too badly i hope... then tomolo i'll really die... it's cuz it's math tomolo. even though mr. vermont is nice enough to give us the formula sheet... i still think im gonna die... i mean... conics... and... AP and GPs give me a headache =_="
also today: i got the chance to hang out with a bunch of ppl i dont USUALLY hang with... like the grade 10 crowd at lunch... (lee jai, joyce, lizzy, victoria, michael chow, mike kim... etc.) mike kim is a CUTIE! and he's OLDER than me too *faint* that was fun... =) then hung with tim and kenny for a bit... well we were like studying i guess...
yea... the histo exam was koo =) gooo jonesieee!
what else... yea then i had fun studyin with graciee step jeh =) *i dont have a faxer* HAHAHAHA i almost died from laughter. . . then i got home... and i was so tired i fell asleep in the shower... sigh. look at what exams do to my brain.
you know what ppl? sometimes i feel really bad when i pray to God to help me with exams... 'cause all the days b4 i've just been a real hypocrite... and not talking to Him... but when i sit down in the exam room it's like "God help me with my exams! Amen." sorta thing... and like... it's ... so... not... right... someone help. . .? i told ruth about me being like... blah... but... sigh i dno... i need God now more than ever. i need to talk to Him.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
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boo // 11:32 am
exams. i hate exams. i hope they die. that's all i gotta say.
oh especially the math one =_="
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
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insights // 12:59 pm
so yea... today was strangely a happy yet ... sorta depressing day
going around the halls going "konichiwa" and have ppl stare at you like yur a half freak half weirdo was AWESOME! hilarious fun.
sc meeting was strange... seeing that it was the last... and that next year.. i won't even be in meetings and that... matt matt, aaron gor, allie (and her cute speeches), eeenoch and paasie will be gone.... sigh that makes me wanna cry.
well ruth gave me an awesome talk... or i was talking half the time... but ... it was a really insightful talk and she really encouraged me. ruth is a really cool friend... i just seem to be able to spill to her ... everytime =_=" lol... but yea... lunch was good... worship kinda WOAHED me into
okay-its-time-to-focus-on-God-mode other than that... yea
im really gonna miss the grads. greg (and his shirt signing), george and his.... his... slavery, matt and his violence and nuggies, aaron and his hugs, eenoch and his quiet wisefulness, hiu and his funnyness (pope haha), sally and her cuteness and her chineseness, pearl and her movies... sigh i dont know what i'd do without grads next year....
other than that - exams approaching... im dead.
other other than that... i was reading a really morbid site today about suicidal bunnies... it's hilarious... go ---> here to chck it out
http://unix.rulez.org/~calver/pictures/bunny_suicides/
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a really nice quote from kim // 10:51 am
i read this on kim's name... and it really inspired me =)
"Smile simply because He loves you." - kimberly hui
*as in God... lol*
it's hard to think of something like this... at such a time of... stress x.x