talking of Michaelangelo.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
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disappointed // 7:58 am
How can you have become this calculating lame excuse of an opportunist? You're not a politician. Do your job, do it well. Kids first. I am disappointed to have called you a friend and sad for you because it's like you've lost your principles. "Put some people up for a show, put them in the front." you say; just like your appearance, just like your front, your actions have betrayed you. I'm disappointed that you became a me-first asshole when I thought you were better than that before. (Or, maybe you were always like that and I, in my naivety, just didn't know.)
Monday, January 26, 2015
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boxed sky // 1:10 pm
This morning I sat and stared up and up. My school is shaped with a rectangular kind of opening right in the middle. So if you're sitting on the ground floor, it's like you're at the very bottom of a well, looking up and up and up. It also means the view is framed. Today... a cloudless day. Blue. It felt like a painted kind of ceiling. A lid for the top of the well. If you shot up you would crash the wall or roof and it would crack. Like in a Truman show kind of way.
Hmm...
crack
The tea stains in my cup show my fight and struggle. The difficult days.
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
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a dream of life on the stage // 9:50 am
A dream.
We were all on a stage, my life the main attraction, a production of sorts and I was not the main character. I was backstage waiting for it all to start, watching, wary. Everyone was on the stage, my stage. What was my role? Some character's understudy.
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
... sans everything.
They were all in it, him and her and them. They were all watching, but participating at the same time. I watched from that small TV screen they have backstage. I fed them lines, and they pushed me out onto the stage and I felt bare, sad and scared of what they wanted from me. But they were all watching... and participating. And
I ... I was watching too. That was the most frightening. Some of them encouraged me, they praised me. Some of them wanted to leave. Some of them cried for me. I stared, I participated, bound by this... being on this stage. No scintillating performance from me. Just an understudy of some better actress of me.
Friday, January 09, 2015
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Hector and the Search for Happiness..... // 8:15 am
Happiness is.....
Where to go now? What to do?
lost ness
like everything's a bit futile in general