talking of Michaelangelo.
Monday, May 28, 2007
-
// 12:19 pm
...i'm so sick and tired of having to be the one who has to freakin' initiate something every single freakin' time.
...i'm just pissed. yes, only love that asks for nothing in return is love that lasts forever. but who can really do that? who can really ask for nothing in return?
can you love without wanting love back?
(if you think i'm talking about YOU,
i'm not. ask me about it later.)
Sunday, May 20, 2007
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add three // 5:42 am
- stuffing purses/bags with scrap paper/plastic bags
- unstuffing purses with scrap paper/plastic bags ☆
- REstuffing purses with scrap paper/plastic bags
I know saying it three times makes it seem trite, right Mike?
Several customers have called me "sweet" ... I really like that =)
I mean... I'm not very pretty... so it must've been
the smile and the personality.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
-
and my summer has started.... // 11:04 am
K-Jamson has started! It has only been two days and it's already turning into routine. It's really kind of sad. Wake at 10am, stuff myself, head to work at 11:10am or so... stand until around 7pm when I get off work. Here's a little job description (the stuff with
☆s next to it is what I consider
extremely fun XD):
- putting price sticker labels on purse tags
☆- working with
fastidious customers
☆(the more fastidious the better)
- selling evening bags
☆- selling luggage (boo, because they're heavy)
- working with customers who stand there and talk for a billion hours and then choose a billion things and make me take out a billion things for them and then
exacerbate the whole effort by walking out of the store deciding
they don't want it anymore... GRRR.
- standing... standing... standing... standing...
- selling children's bags (Dora? Barbie? Spiderman?
SOO cute!)
☆- ripping boxes of shipments of bags open and pulling the plastic bags off of them (☆UNTIL you do it like 15 billion times)
- standing... standing... staring at the only thing you can stare at: luggage, purses, wallets
- working with the card swipe machine
☆☆☆☆☆ that is like the joy of my life.
- stand... stand... stand...
Jason came to visit today! I'm so happy =) haha I'm actually really thankful that I'm not sitting around wasting my time at home... even though I feel like I'm wasting my time at work... at least I'm getting paid. Minimum wage... I wonder if it's too greedy to ask for more =/ I wish I could though.
The thing with work is... no one really talks about it... everyone just... assumes it's like a part of life that we all have to go through to get the money for whatever our hearts desire to buy... but I don't know I really want to express my joy in doing
folderol. I mean... in the big spectrum of things... what am I doing? I'm just selling bags... making people happy, satisfying their needs... I wish I could do something with a more
laudable cause... like something that would benefit the society in some way... you know?
But I just want everyone to let you know... I'm actually really a
大小姐... I never really knew working could be so tiring or take so much effort. Earning money is definitely not an easy thing as Sallay and my ba said. I totally admit it. But I just want to say, at the same time... I'm having so much fun. I love it.
I love working, no matter how tired my feet are after a long day... I still really enjoy doing the things that I do. I have a
penchant to really promote my positive attitude while I'm at work... because I really DO love like... more than half the things on the list... even if some of you may be like... those are like the most mundane tasks... but they're AMAZING fun to me =D
I'm really looking forward to next week's field trip with my PRAC111 McKee kids! Will update you on that XD!! Anticipation will kill me! So excited!!
☆☆☆
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
-
three hundred and one // 12:12 pm
News, news, news... indeed!
I've landed myself two summer jobs, officially.
1.
Volunteer: Lansing Nursery School
2.
Paid: K-Jamson Luggage Store
It will be an exciting opportunity for me!
I want to start my next 300 posts with a story about the moon.
Here's the story about the moon from The Secret Life of Bees:"In my dream I was back on the peach farm, sitting out behind the tractor shed, and even though it was broad daylight, I could see a huge, round moon in the sky. It looked so perfect up there. I gazed at it awhile, then leaned against the shed and closed my eyes. Next I heard a sound like ice breaking, and, looking up, I saw the moon crack apart and start to fall. I had to run for my life.
I woke with my chest hurting. I searched for the moon and found it all in one piece, still spilling light over the creek."As a side note, I'd like to say that there was lots of rain today that I really loved. I think the notion of rain reminds me of cleansing, purity... of course this is all archetypal... but, it's still... sublime in a way. It's still kind of lonely...
pitter patter. My apologies, how cliche of me.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
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Post the 300th: Until We Meet Again... // 11:07 pm
"I won't forget you my friend."
300thYes, it's actually quite an old song (Who Knew?), but I re-fell in love with it after Pink performed it on
American Idol this week. I guess I'm really kind of into rock songs, whereas some people are adamantly against it. Not that I'm a fan of Pink either.
I think "until we meet again" is a good blog title for this week... or this month I suppose. Just because I think there has been many partings recently. Here's the list of people I had to part with for the time being (farther back to recent) ...
1)
Queen's Friends [there are so many that I miss so much!]
2)
McKee PRAC Kids [my 24 adorables]
3)
PCA Friends [everyone including my gr.7-8 PRAC kids!]
Of course there are also those people who have been faraway all year... that I still miss so much. I feel like this year is officially over. It's a new phase now. I'm still a little lost... still job-hunting... still finding what I'm going to be doing for the summer. But it seems like most of my summer is going to be spent missing people, once again.
"I'll keep you locked up in my head...until we meet again."Seems weird to be sounding so gloomy right now. This year is full of opportunities, new friendships, old friendships renewed, strengthened... I can just see
Agnes Eth being a great experience,
QCSA will be full of fun memories,
ChildArts maybe?.... and of course coming up soon there's my
nursery job and hopefully
k-jamson =)
Gotta say thanks to so many people... but I guess I'll say it to your face instead since... no one really comes here anyway. Give me a shout in the HaloScan comment box! This is my 300th post anniversary... don't I deserve at least a little bittle comment?
How 'bout a bribe. I'll buy you chocolate if you post.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
-
in media res, once again // 5:26 am
I just wanted to give you readers some... coverage on the placements I've been doing: McKee Public School and Peoples Christian Academy. Just wanted to leave you guys some reflections I've accumulated these couple of weeks.
First, I want to start off talking about
in media res once again... just because that concept has been reinforced in my mind over and over again. I always feel like my life is in that process. I'm always in the midst of something. The beginning is the ending of a lot of things and the ending is the beginning of a lot of things.
On the other side of the desk!I'd always liked that image of a teacher... being on the other side. There's SO much to learn... so much to be responsible for! Like you would never
ever imagine as a student how hard being a teacher is! It's exhausting and tiring but
so rewarding. A teacher has to be so many things that maybe they didn't sign onto being in the first place. A parent? Dietrician, mentor, comforter, encourager, prompter, team player, psychiatrist, character analyst, designer, organizer. So many so many things that I had never even really noticed! Teachers use answers in their questions to make a point. As a teacher, you need to know EXACTLY what you're saying or doing. Children are
always looking. Trust me, nothing is as easy as it seems. Even reading takes practice, even writing on the board can be challenging.
In the crowd...In a partner activity in a crowd, you often find yourself lost... lost amongst the masses. You end up having eye contact with that one other person. It's how you find yourself again. At least you have that one other person. You're not invisible. Anymore.
I quoteth Shakespeare here...Is Romeo just in love with love?
"Not having that which having makes them short..."
Oh, silly Romeo so lost in love-sickness...
"O loving hate!...
O heavy lightness, serious vanity,
Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health,
Still-waking sleep that is not what it is.
This love feel I, that feel no love in this...
Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs;
Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;
Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears.
What is it else? A madness most discreet,
A choking gall, and a preserving sweet."
That's
in media res right there. Romeo, oh Romeo... you know not what is in store for you! You know not what is beyond that courtly love that blinds you. You know not that there is a Juliet waiting to die for you and one that you will die for. You know not yet. So stop using love lightly, stop believing that vexing fume of sighs. You know not what love is yet. Despair not! Fate will bring you more than you could prepare for! Oh fate, oh that mischievous liar. Yes, fate is a jester that juggles your fleeting feelings.
Oh
in media res! How I wish I knew how to deal with it in my own life.
I wish it would all be over all at once, yet have it slowly.
Time is relative. It's so relative.
More on Peoples and McKee later on....
Friday, May 04, 2007
-
rewarding, but exhausting // 11:00 am
It has been a spectacularly
wonderful week at McKee. I'm so tired though. I never thought this kind of routine could be SO exhausting. It's definitely different to be on the other side of the desk now. Student life seems carefree, while being a teacher has so many responsibilities! Whereas I had always thought the opposite.
I'm learning to take so much more initiative that I usually take already. There's so much to absorb in the classroom. The 24 children are amazing! I've learned so much from them it's really surprising. My teacher, I don't think I'm supposed to put her name up or anything because of confidentiality issues or whatever... but she's really great. I didn't expect to learn so much actually. Last year with Mrs. K ... who was totally and incredibly not fun to work with was really =/. I didn't even really learn much. All she made me do was all the stuff SHE didn't want to do. But this time, it feels like I have more of an opportunity to sit in and listen. More on that later though... I've been talking to so many people about being a teacher and fulfilling my dream that I don't feel like telling it here just yet.
IN FOUR YEARS, I WANT TO GO TO JAPAN. THAT'S WHERE MY PASSIONS BELONG. IN FOUR YEARS, I WILL MAKE IT. I PROMISE. Blogging feels so... draining recently. I don't know why. I always have fun blogging.
There's something we learned in PSYC that still sticks with me, the word "Sublimation". It's a defense mechanism proposed by Freud wait, or was it Rogers? I don't remember. But yeah... blogging is like my way of "Sublimation". I know this year I've controlled my venting problem... but I guess having a blog is inspiring to myself and other people. I mean, other people's blogs are really inspiring too. I don't know why I'm being random.
But I really miss people. I feel like... a split person... half my friends are all off in some other place. Adalia, in England... she's just so far. And then other people... Kingston friends... Friends who are heading back to Hong Kong this summer... just doesn't feel right. I wish all my friends were in Toronto... When I'm in Kingston, I miss Toronto people, when I'm in Toronto, I miss Kingston people.
Haha, here's a HILARIOUS quote haha Michael and I died laughing for about half an hour on this thing hahaha:
"I could be the pair of jeans!" hahahaha inside joke, most of you won't get it =P But I felt like posting it anyway.
By the way, the blogpost from before... it must've sounded really desperate... and just really stupid. I'm sorry for that... I feel like there are lots of better things to do now than dwell on stupidness like that. So, I'll just shush it.
My dad has been putting some pressure on me to change my mind about Japan actually, which is kind of surprising because he is usually... well, somewhat, supportive of anything that I really want to pursue. He wants me to look into working at public schools and such... it kind of bothers me because I sort of want to do it, but it's not the time yet.
I GOT A JOB AT LANSING NURSERY!!!!! ... maybeIt's kind of sad, because she still hasn't confirmed... sigh.
I must, I must!
Work experience is
key in this field. We all know that. Sigh.
More news, I'm slowly getting my marks back on QCARD... not to say that I'm completely satisfied with the two marks I got... but considering how much I slacked this year... I think it's pretty reasonable. At least I'll get into my major =) that's all I need.
I wanted to share something from a new book I'm reading... it's some Chinese novel. People often make fun of how my Chinese isn't good enough or whatever, so this summer... I'm going to work SUPER HARD and polish those Chinese skills. Anyway, I'm reading some trashy romance novel (what a good way to start) but it's not all that trashy... It's actually pretty good... It's called "
吃南瓜的人" meaning
"A Person Who Eats Pumpkins" It's a really random title I'd have to say... but the book is pretty good so far. I'll share a quote with you later. The quote seems to embody how my days have been recently.
You know, on a more personal note... let me just tell you. Endings are usually really painful. And I am pushing myself to heal. Pushing myself to try and think of other things... but sometimes, I just need to let it settle. Bittersweetness is probably my favourite word in the English language... no... abudant is... no, what about lugubrious drollery? Ah! I can't decide. English vocabulary can be so pretty. I'm back in my windmill room.
My beautiful, sweet, windmill room.
How come we, mere humans always long for something else?
How come we always try to have what we can't have?
How come? How come there are so many "how come"s?
PS. Been having some struggles with my mom. But what more can I ask for? That woman does too much for me. Seriously. Sigh.
