talking of Michaelangelo.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
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obsession. // 3:05 am
"Till human voices wake us and we drown."
Friday, September 26, 2008
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morbid and twisted // 12:38 pm
... but really, I just wanted to say that I've never seen a dead person before other than my two grandfathers. And for both of them, I don't remember them very clearly at all.
It's like I have this strange detachment to death.
I feel strange when I see people dying on TV. Like it's not real. And of course, it's not.
But I'm going in circles and circles and the point I want to make is, I've never actually seen a dead person before. I kind of... want to. Just to feel... the gargantuan, smothering, almost suffocating thing of mortality. We are just things of mortality.
Eventually... into the earth, into the air as ashes where we won't be remembered. Or only be remembered by certain people.
(Strange conversations about cadavers.)
Thursday, September 25, 2008
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clocks // 12:39 pm
Tick.
My disappointment is my anticipation.
I am ready to be disappointed.
The Time Traveler's Wife - the movie.
December 25th.
Don't ask to watch it with me.
I will do this alone.
In the mean time. I will read it again.
Tock.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
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let my actions reflect my words // 12:49 pm
To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. - Ecclesiastes 3:1
So that's basically telling me... it's my time to wait. It's my time to just wait for my calling and my purpose...
I need to stop looking for things and they will find me eventually?
I mean how cliche am I being right now?
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trampled by unknown melancholy // 1:53 am
I am about to pass out. I'm kind of sleepy, I have done nothing productive for the entire day.
There's no sense of direction this year, just like floating around. Sick and tired of feeling this randomness of having nowhere to go, no where to be.
I am already planning my next escape.
Friday, September 05, 2008
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escape - exit that way. // 9:44 am
No more laziness.
No more pathetic excuses.
God, keep your arms open.
I'm running back.
I've had enough of a miracle-lacking life.
I've had enough of escaping to the wrong place.
I've had enough of taking refuge in random places.
I'll try not to get lost again.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
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messed up movies // 8:52 am
But really great, well planned. Interesting framing and the plot was enticing - or the way it was told was enticing. Wasn't exactly THRILLING, but just really intriguing. Even though all the characters (right down to the protagonist) are truly messed up morally and have really bad legal issues, the plot was quite well done. The world is a strange place, with strange fiction. This one... is especially peculiar. I suppose that is why I enjoyed it. Even though it's quite dark.
memento
"Memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They're just an interpretation, they're not a record, and they're irrelevant if you have the facts. "
"If we can't make memories, we can't heal. "
"Can't remember to forget you."
"Just because there are things I don't remember doesn't make my actions meaningless. The world doesn't just disappear when you close your eyes, does it?"
"I know what that's going to sound like when I knock on it. I know that's what going to feel like when I pick it up. See? Certainties. It's the kind of memory that you take for granted."
My brain kind of hurt after watching this movie.... It really carried some interesting concepts in it which makes my mind wander a bit.
the good girlWow, too much messed up fictional worlds today for me. I really thought I'd come home to a good comical... light comedy. But this was really heavy for me too. I mean, so postmodern and... just (too much sexual content for me) but still, I was interested in her life. Her mundane sort of, lifeless life.
"I close my eyes and try to peer into the future. On my left, I saw days upon days of lipstick and ticking clocks, dirty looks and quiet whisperings. And burning secrets that just won't ever die away. And on my right, what could I picture? The blue sky, the desert earth, stretching out into the eerie infinity. A beautiful never-ending nothing."
It really was a sad movie, but not in the tear-jerking way. It sort of led me to think... what's with the lack of passion. The listlessness, the meaninglessness. Just the apathy and the lack of drive to do anything nowadays. It's just depressing to see that, this is what the world has become.
Some colleague dies... and everyone gets the day off. Play some music, etc. So daunting to watch. So difficult to process.
I feel like hurling.
I've had too much messed up fiction.
Time to snap out and come back.
I'm glad to be in my reality.
