shape without form, shade without colour

<body> shape without form, shade without colour <body>

do i dare?
Michaelangelo.
let us go and make our visit
time for you, time for me
click above for a handful of dust

so how should I presume?

If you are a dreamer, come in,
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,
A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer...
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin.
Come in! Come in!... for where the sidewalk ends. - Shel Silverstein

These fragments I have shored against my ruins. - T.S. Eliot

do i dare...disturb the universe?

ren-ka // alias. karrot,kawun
dob.11.10.

I live in a world where
lobster and corn can be very
good friends.

. email .

i have known the eyes already
songs: Strokes
tvb: dinner at 8
kvariety: nil
kdrama: ryeo
twdrama: love O2O
anime: nil
book: Moveable Feast Ernest Hemingway
website: moonbeard
website: stumble
headache: the boy

about the layout
Credits to magnette from blogskins.com, mods made by me.
Lots of it is inspired by T.S. Eliot's Hollow Men and Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.

talking of Michaelangelo.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

- 等 // 1:51 am

好好好好好眼瞓ah!

This post is called "wait" because... maybe it's time I truly learned what that means or how to do it at least.

Last night was fun, thanks Share (for the talk that we haven't had in awhile), Jackie (for having the hotpot even though you were sick), Ulrica (for staying so long even though you could've gone back to do work), Ronald (for laughing at my jokes), Winson (for tolerating my yelling haha I feel bad for you since you sat next to me), Stebby (for being helpful and funny). And most importantly Sally, aiya sorry you didn't come... but it was nice talking to you afterwards. =)

Though none of the guys would even bother reading this post, thought it would be nice to post this up.

1 dried voice(s)

Monday, January 29, 2007

- insightful wisdom (dedicated to ma and my future babies) // 1:15 am

You know how for the past few weeks, I've been thinking about the future and wishing that I could fast forward a bit and give birth? Many of you have been annoyed at some point that I've been telling everyone that I WANT to give birth.

Well, this weekend I realized that there is something more. I was looking through the pictures of my mother's childhood and teenager years... then the pictures of her nursing years. Then finally, my dad's teenager years. And inside, my heart swelled and I became very pensive about what I should do.

Let me tell you a little bit of my mother's story. Why? First, because she I don't think she would or could, for that matter, ever publish this on the web so people could read it. Second, because I want to express some sort of pride that I feel when I think about my mother. I think this little space on web is a good way to reveal my thoughts. These thoughts have been implanted deep within me for a long time, I just haven't told many people before.

My mother was a bad kid at school. Bad academically, carefree, silly... not stupid. Not bad as in bad alcoholic/drugs/smoking, etc. She just struggled in school work. She always tells me, if the sky falls down, then use it as a blanket (some Chinese proverb). Though I haven't yet been able to adopt this mentality for myself... I'm still learning. Her carefree nature didn't take her to college or anywhere near a University. Yet, she was able to make something of her life. For 22 years, my mother was a nurse. She worked front line in the ER, ICU, pediatrics, geriatrics, even in the maternity ward. The full package. What she learned from the hospital, she took into our home.

Without my mother, I think I would've turned out pretty awkward. (Though I am pretty awkward already. Haha.) The more I think about it, the more I want to prolong the time before I have my own child. When my child looks at my pictures, when he or she flips through the old albums (or facebook pictures) I want them to think the same thing I had thought of my mother. I want my children to feel a sense of swelling in the heart that I experience when I think of my mother in her old days. I will spend this time, before their birth to enrich myself to become a woman who they can and will look up to. I want them to look at my past days and think, "This is how I want my children to look at me when I have my own children."

I want my mother's grandchildren to know that I have become a fulfilling woman because their grandmother supported me so fully. I want them to know that it was their grandmother who inspired their mother to become so ambitious to make their lives incredible.

I hope I will be able to read this post to my children, far off in the future. =) But for now, back to the enriching of self.