talking of Michaelangelo.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
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bird, be free, but don't rupture that little heart of yours the second you hit the air // 10:51 pm
I want to be one of those kids books heroines who magick all the bad things away... or those trickster ones with a twinkle in the eye who can think of the most mischievous but clever plans and escape through the easiest route. Who make great plans and execute them. But, alas, I am not.
Four people, a party, a party, a difficult party to end.
A difficult party for everyone to come to terms with.
The sentimental, the escapist, the dependent and the rationalist.
What's the safest way to do this and all come out alive?
First we've got to find
a route.
Doesn't seem like there's a way out.
How to go next? Where to go?
Have I just been running away from everything and everyone?
Am I really obligated to
not do so? Can you just leave me alone?
I won't look through a peephole and not let you in,
I won't put chocolates in your mailbox and "I've done my part."
But can I have my own life now?
I want to have my time, please give it to me.
Shred your previous images of me and peel it away,
and behold! I am the new me, will always be now...
Will I regret these things?
I am not a child.
But most times, I stare at the work on my desk, I feel this horror
creep upon me... up my spine, into my head... what if... what if
I
am that child you've pegged me to be? That scared, and lonely
but over loved child. What if all that knowledge in my head, I
actually have no idea what it is or what the fuck I'm doing or where
where am I going? Who to turn to? And all of a sudden, I feel like I'm
falling inside myself, crying out and not being heard, strangled by...
by what is it exactly? My own naivety? Ignorance? Oh, but we are
all children walking in adult clothes and shoes. Some are just better
at pretending.
We all want to lock ourselves inside and scream and scream and try not
to be heard or seen.
I am so afraid, I
can't hold it together.
I
fall a
p ar
t.
Monday, October 21, 2013
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revisit synesthesia // 4:15 pm
I have always been very interested in this idea...
This blending of senses. There are some songs, some music that taste really smooth and good, it rolls, it plunges and bursts with flavour. The experience is one, with no differentiation. Some songs taste bitter or savoury or watery, bland. Some balances ones with other tastes.
So you taste with your ears, you feel the music with your mouth, your tongue, your lips rolling with the words, you are a whirl of sensation.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
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I Want My Hat Back // 9:23 am
I have a crush on a children's author/illustrator. (No one tell The Boy, please. He'll throw a jealous fit.)
I like Jon Klassen. His work is simplistic, minimalistic even, but phenomenal.
I Want My Hat Back is deliciously funny.
Too bad it's so expensive on that website that sells books.
Makes me want to write some children's books myself......
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
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fly // 9:15 am
Malaysia,
full of surprises.
Good and bad, but we took it and ran with it.
Was a little relaxing, a little exhilarating.
Makes me want more, run more,
wait for the rain more.
Turn, turn, turn it,
reverse it, push it,
release it and
move.
In the night dark the frog
he spits water and water and water.
Some bones, you can really feel them.
I hope I'm still young
enough not to scar.
Add Destination:
Rajasthan, India
Thursday, October 10, 2013
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david guetta beats // 10:34 pm
it's just too much autotune and I'm not the biggest fan of Usher or his voice,
otherwise the words words and beat
moves me...
I won't run, I won't fly
I will never make it by
Without you, without you
I can't rest, I can't fight
All I need is you and I,
Without you, without you
Oh oh oh!
You! You! You!
Without...
You! You! You!
Without...you
Can't erase, so I'll take blame
But I can't accept that we're estranged
Without you, without you
I can't quit now, this can't be right
I can't take one more sleepless night
Without you, without you
I won't soar, I won't climb
If you're not here, I'm paralyzed
Without you, without you
I can't look, I'm so blind
I lost my heart, I lost my mind
Without you, without you
Wednesday, October 09, 2013
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gruesome // 11:22 am
What was that?! It made my heart pump fast and tight and I was terrified. Do we really have to face our monsters in our sleep?
Too much nightmare talk perhaps...
Tuesday, October 08, 2013
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my my my, my my my my my my my // 10:55 pm
Someone in some dream was trying to sell me something,
perhaps it was electronics, or perhaps it was a poem.
But they were selling me something.
Am I watching too much
Futurama? (Maybe.)
Sometimes I don't feel like I'm living,
I feel like I'm drifting rather slowly.
Motions, sometimes it just feels like
motions, (Stop running! Let's walk.)
On the street or even at the market when
I see kids run, sometimes I want to tell them to
stop.
But actually... I think kids need to run.
What has the "teacher" in me turned me into?
That's not the way to be a teacher, Ms. K,
you told yourself that's not what you want.
Saturday, October 05, 2013
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strange internal monologue // 8:21 pm
AH! Let me out!
No, I'm stuck! Now I'm in here forever, wait! Why me?!
Gravity, what do you have against me?
Oh, grapefruit seed.