talking of Michaelangelo.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
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ugliness // 11:01 pm
I realized yesternight why my self-esteem is so low. Why it is that I always feel uglified by myself, by my mirror. Everytime I look at my mirror I can't help but feel.... not good looking.
And all the while, I have people telling me: "You look fine!" or "Don't worry about appearances!" Yet, I can't do that, because I've grown up with the most nasty, most interminable skin disease. Why must I have it? I don't think anyone would understand unless they have it too. It looks terrible, esp on my hand.
How am I supposed to hold a boy's hand in the future without them minding?
It's totally not contagious. I was born with it. And it makes me feel ugly. I makes me wanna rip my skin off and trade it with someone. I've tried Hydrocortison it doesnt work okay? I've tried taking pills. It doesnt work. It comes back, every season to haunt me.
And so, I feel ugly.
Just because you've read this post, don't judge me, or don't ... pity me. I don't need your pity. And don't stray away from me, it's not contagious. Don't leave me, you won't die from it. You're not ugly.
How am I supposed to hold someone's hand? How? Girl's hands are supposed to be soft and beautiful. Not.... not.... like mine.
Will no one love me because of this...
ugliness?
Can you blame me for feeling this way?
Have you seen?
Saturday, April 29, 2006
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oh the excitement // 9:37 am
i simply can't WAIT until new york.
next week is new york grad trip.
i simply can't WAIT.
the adventure is about to start.
i simply can't WAIT.
by the way, did i tell you, i simply can't WAIT.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
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not my cup of tea { an update on life } // 6:18 am
I love this idiom. Especially when my ma uses it. It's such a lovely image. "Oh, I'm afraid this is not my cup of tea." Isn't it adorable? This will be a long post because I've been on hiatus for so long! Now, blogging most definitely is my cup of tea xp.
Life is such a blessing despite all the work and exhaustion. I'll
try to keep this short even though there's more than TONS to talk about.
Let's start with the future:-
NY Trip is coming up!
In fact, it's NEXT WEEK! - Prom is around the corner x)
- WC Anthology will be due soooooon....
(uh oh.)
- WC Review stuff
- Philo,
English, History ISPs all due in MAY (weeps)
- Oh joy,
exams. (poo colour)
- then
GRAD! sad or happy?
I've still gotta decide.
- 7589 figure it out x) HK
Now back to the present:- LitISPs this week
(wasteland w00t _ I'm crazy for Eliot, oh you
depressed depressed poet, i love you)
-
WC Paradigm, how funnnn. Chance of Sunshine, Gift of Magi; it's so exciting!-
History Questions. (guess what guys? I DROPPED 8% IN HISTO. it's like nutzz)-
GD Write-up (aaaaaaaaaaaaah)-
T&F very soon,
and i'm not doing anything xp Let's reminisce a bit now:- Production was absolutely
FAB. i love the cast so much
- I've been in and out of people's house and my house doin' projs+prez
-
I GOT ACCEPTED INTO EVERY UNIVERSITY I APPLIED TO!!! *WHICH IS ALL 8*- Went to Queens and I've decided. Trent, I'm sorry; you're so soo beautiful, but... too bad.- MY DRESS IS STILL NOT DONE. AND I'VE BEEN DIETING BECAUSE I DONT FIT IN IT!!!!!!!!!! (major crisis to a girl) Isn't it AWFUL!?
I'm done my update my dears. New drama =
Tian Guo de Jia Yee (Heaven's Wedding Gown), still on
Ai Qing Mo Fa Shi (Magicians of Love); New Song obsession = "Goodbye", "Condition of my Heart"
FFTS w00t! Now, since we all crave a little profundity... at times... I'll leave you with a beautiful quote... or... not so beautiful, but... so... deep.
"April is the cruelest month, breedingLilacs out of the dead land, mixingMemory and desire, stirringDull roots with spring rain.Winter kept us warm, coveringEarth in forgetful snow, feeding A little life with dried tubers." -
T.S.Eliot,
The Waste Land:The Burial of the Dead 1922
ps. if you can guess what colour my prom dress is, i'll buy you chocolate x)
Sunday, April 23, 2006
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hiatus over // 11:14 am
Why is the grass
green?
Because the sky is
blue.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
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// 9:59 am
hiatus.simply not in the mood. will be back. take care all.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
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and what do I have to say about that? // 10:39 am
Well I just want to say that you're just like the rest of them. Just like the rest of them. Did you hear me? Yes. I thought you were something else. Something better. Something more special, but you're just another one of them. Just another one. So you know what? Have a nice life to you too.
That's enough. I know I am. Okay? Stop spitting in my face, 'cause I can spit back.
Now, for the quote of the day: fill in the
blanks, tell me the name of the
person who says this and
where this the from: (by the way, this was featured several months ago in my blog)
"But ____ I ____ the way I don't ____ you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all."