talking of Michaelangelo.
Monday, August 20, 2007
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fragments and splinters // 4:39 am
I think one of the main reasons why I turn to drama, anime and fictional emotional stimulations is because I wish to escape this blasted existence some people call "reality". I get really irritated when there are unclean endings full of unanswered questions. Ambiguity makes me
If the thing I turn to in order to escape to another world with have such abrupt imperfect conclusions, that just makes me feel unhappy - maybe even a little fear. If what people have imagined can't be perfect... then...
Anyhow, what makes me say this is the recent anime I watched:
NANA and the book by Madeleine Wickham -
The Gatecrasher.
NANA is a slice of life Shoujo anime... it was so real to life. Actually... one word that I would have to use would be passionate. The entire plot is so grounded on passion and such intensity. At times when you watch, it almost feels like... it's going to suffocate you. But of course there's great comic relief and the characters are easy to sympathize with. Meanwhile,
The Gatecrasher was also quite real in terms of the fact that there really are fraudulent people like the protagonist. Love versus deception. Love versus greed?
Well why I suddenly touched on these two works of fiction is because both endings were extremely unclean and both made me cry because of the imperfect and seemingly negative ending.
So, here's a taste of what I've been filling my brain with recently:
"What matters most is your happiness.
Even if I can never manage to wish for that from the bottom of my heart...
I want you to see me as a strong person.
Like a manga heroine....who is too good to be true." - NANA
"You know, Hachi...
I can't...be the hero in your story, but...
the name of the heroine in my story...
is Nana - you. The best, the cutest...
She's you."
"If you have all this time to sit around destroying people's gardens, try growing your own damn flowers." - Yasu (He's so dang cool.)
"You know, Hachi...
The stardust is spreading,
and tonight looks like it will turn out to be truly brilliant.
Even now,
whenever I look at sparkling things,
I still think about Ren."
"You know, Hachi...
The harder I struggle, the deeper I sink.
Humans are such pointless creatures.
If I...could be reborn, I'd want to be a fish.
In a small bowl... Ren and I would swim - by ourselves."
"If I were to die now, I don't think Ren would die with me.
But, it's better that way.
That's how it has to be.
I must be crazy for feeling so sad about it."
"You know, Hachi..
I always thought life was about standing your ground, no matter how strong the current was. But going with the flow isn't so foolish afterall. As long as... it takes you forward."
"I know you love new things, and you're a bit unfaithful, but I hope that even now you still cherish that name-brand standard design ring."
"You know, Hachi...
The say that once you lose someone, you understand how precious they were to you. I think you probably realize the true meaning of that saying once you meet that person again face to face. If I, met with everyone once more... I know I'd depend on them again. That scares me... I can't move from this spot."
~ ~ ~
"Of course, he'd meant 'love' in the casual, modern use of the word...Love, love, love. As though it meant nothing; as though it weren't a sacrosanct word, a precious syllable, to be used sparingly. She knew with a fierce certainty whom she loved, whom she had loved, whom she would always love. But in her adult life she had never uttered the word aloud." - The Gatecrasher
How am I feeling now? Once again - it's that term Prof. Peterson taught us. In media res. I'm in an in-between time where the ending seems too far to touch, and the beginning seems miles away.
...
in media res indeed.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
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episode two // 10:35 pm
Second chance come at a price and that price is high. If you don't take it - you lose it. Forever. It's time to change. It's not my problem that you're the one who doesn't know how to say sorry. Goodbye.
"The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone." - The Blue Man (
five people you meet in heaven)
Sadly, I am one who wastes lots of time.
"Lost love is still love...It takes a different form, that's all. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.
Life as to end, love doesn't." - Marguerite (
five people you meet in heaven)
Whatever. Love will end when it means to end. Holding onto memories? Nurturing it? Pfft. Look what it did to me.
Only nurture what you can and will hold on to.
Such bitterness in me today.
