talking of Michaelangelo.
Friday, May 23, 2008
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it's time. // 1:37 pm
On the eve of my departure I have complicated feelings. The doubt has left me. I've steadied myself and I am finally ready. I will fly.
Not because I must, but because I will myself to. It's time to learn to be on my own. I am leaving all my comforts, all my loves.
I have to confess, I am scared. I don't want to be alone and get lost along the way. I am afraid of new things, I am afraid to take risks. Call me a coward, but I know you probably have experienced this before too.
Today I will breathe and live well. I will try so hard not to disappoint.
There is so much I want to say still, things that I have not had the time to blog these past couple of weeks. So I will have to leave that for when my arrival in Hong Kong.
It's time to say good-bye. I will do so with a heavy heart, but at the same time... I must take my leave. Let me take flight.
I am coming. Watch out.
Friday, May 16, 2008
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the next chapter // 3:42 am
Time has elapsed.
The impending next chapter - the chapter of summer.
That time of in-betweens.
in media res - I never get bored of that term.
It's been long since I've posted a real blog post. No excuses, but it's really due to my overwhelming mundane routine of going to school, coming home, nap, TV (oh, the ever enticing TV), dinner, Scrabble, sleep, and doing it all over again. But to its defense, it has been a wonderful sense of mundane. Something I can see myself doing for the rest of my life. Which, hopefully is the case. There's such fire in me. Like... I
am going somewhere. I
am accomplishing something. And of course, that does always come with
insights that I must share, and have been burning to share ever since I've thought them up.
Time, sometimes is not on our side - as my darling Poon would say.
Grade 1 Placement - Finch Public School (Mrs. T's Class)First, I have to say just how much I love and adore my kids to bits. Each 16 of them, I've seen their smile, their frown. For everyday of these 15 days, they have given themselves to me, trusted me to look over them, to help them when they fall (literally). And of course, I've walked several times into that little water fountain that's too short for (even) me. Each one of them has some little quality that I just wanna bring out in them. I want to see them grow, I want to see them learn. That CLICK of their eyes when they understand something is so incredibly motivation and moving for me. It makes me want to stay. Even when I'm exhausted, I still want to plan those lessons for them, because they're so curious at this age, this brilliant age of 7-8. They're like sponges ready to soak up every bit you feed them and so happy to ask questions. Such inquiry! How I wish I could see that fire burn in adult's eyes too. All wanted to learn, to just take in more and more!
Because there's so much more in this world, that we can learn.
And teaching has taught me to learn.
And these kids. They've taught me more than I've taught them - and I'm serious.
On children being childrenI always get this epiphany that kids want to grow up faster than they should. Childhood seems like a phase of wanting to be older and adolescence is a phase of angst and in between. And then you hit adulthood and it's like... this stagnant time of wanting to go back. Wanting a second chance again at life. But too bad, we've already live more than a quarter of it.
More on this later. So much more to share.
Just too much to post all at once.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
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gossip girl // 4:56 am
SHOCK.Ah yes, the truth always comes out. It's one of the fundamental rules of time. And when it comes out, it can set you free or...end everything you fought so hard for. Another way the truth comes out: when you don't even mean it to or when, you don't even say a word it's still loud and clear.But the worst thing the truth can do, is when you finally tell it...it doesn't set you free...but locks you away, forever. - Gossip Girl
Saturday, May 03, 2008
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the fickle waning moon // 11:19 am
Just a beautiful passage of something I read:
Max Tivoli, describing the girl he loved:
"I saw Alice breathing open-mouthed up to the stars, her cheeks webbed with colour; I saw my old hand resting against her sleeve, desperate to tap a code of some kind to her. I saw how the moon had dropped into her cup of coffee. It struggled there like a moth. Then I saw her lean forward, her mouth in a silent kiss, and as she blew on the furrowed surface to cool it, I saw the moon explode." - Confessions of Max Tivoli by Andrew Sean Greer
What a beautiful image - of the moon exploding in its own reflection. Like a reference to Max's heart, exploding by just watching that silent kiss of his love.
I wonder at this moment, if my heart has exploded at anything.
P.S. Maybe I should be updating you on how my placement is going. But... maybe another time. My first week is over... I feel a sense of fatigue smothering me.
