talking of Michaelangelo.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
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one am radio // 7:39 pm
♪
All of the mistakes I made,
All the ways that I fucked up the plans I laid,
All the times I showed up late,
All the places I left when I should have stayed,
I know.
Now I know.
All the chances I let by,
All the accidents that dot the maps of my life,
All of those long worthless nights,
All the times that i know I didn't get it right,
Now I know —
It brought me to you.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
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gettin' colder // 11:40 pm
I'm finally content now, please don't rain and crap all over my parade. Don't come back to me like this. Splash of cold water on an already cold day. Why you gotta do this to me? No, don't come back, that door closed a long time ago. I even threw out the package. Have you forgotten what it was like?
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
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grey cup world // 10:03 am
In the grey world of a cup there is colour. The only colour in the grey world. And the steam from it licks the air silkily. Smoothly, the steam rises from the grey cup world.
You wish it were something else and you wish things were at least a little different. Your tardiness made you early. Your happiness turned to grey.
The weather, gloomy, it wants to rain. Flowers want to bloom, but stifled. Dormant or dying?
You'll find the colour, the smells again. Or maybe you won't.
The soft khaki, large, light and baggy. The way I never though I would like.
Who is that gentleman there? Who is it?
A light sprinkling, a little refreshed. WAKE!
"Ever morning, until you dead in the ground, you gone have to make a decision. You gone have to ask yourself,
Am I gone believe what them fools say about me today?" - Constantine, from
The Help
Monday, November 19, 2012
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voice matters // 10:03 am
I love vernacular done right.
(Or maybe I don't know it's done right, but I like it when it's convincing that it's done right.)
Saturday, November 17, 2012
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NO MORE SPENDING ALLOWED // 6:11 pm
THIS IS A SERIOUS WARNING.
NO MORE SPENDING ALLOWED THIS MONTH.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
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back on that train, the same dream, but living it // 9:17 am
Why do you keep going back? Going away and going back? Nobody cares. You're on a train, the water train that leads to nowhere and will only go back to nowhere. No one will look at you or think of you. Just go and be. You will get what you deserved. Don't keep going back. Don't keep calling. There's no use, you're heading back and around and around back again. You will only come back to this same start, this same end and wherever you go, you will only see that same ugly truth.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
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train dream // 9:27 pm
Been traversing through one bad dream after another. Dreams of inferiority complexes, of feeling young and scared.
Dreams of goodbyes and leaving people behind and people leaving me behind and waking and thinking it's morning and pining for someone.
Train dreams with circle tracks.
Going nowhere, even in my dream.
Monday, November 12, 2012
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the older you get... // 8:56 pm
... the more calm and collected you are supposed to get. False.
... the more you understand about the world. False.
... the more you get used to peoples' hurtful words. False.
Life will only worsen, bring more hurt.
Birthdays will only become more bitter, forget more thankfulness.
I am thankful though. I am so thankful I have the people I have.
twenty two, three long gone; the simplicity of those days, also long gone.
Tuesday, November 06, 2012
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// 4:09 pm
Maybe this is what it comes down to. Maybe I should give up now.
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ah, life // 8:31 am
... must go on.
Monday, November 05, 2012
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eulogy for the little baby turtle // 7:11 pm
You were only with me for a short time. Tommy, little turtle of mine. I'm sorry you were not treated better. Your eyes were of a blueish hue, your shell pale, you were very baby like. You were fast and you were full of bravado. Your little legs rigid now, eyes closed as you liked them when basking, oh little Tommy. Your suffering was long and I hope this is a relief for you.
Your short stay with Edward and I will not be forgotten.
Friday, November 02, 2012
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leessang blues // 8:09 am
gaelli gaelli makes me feel like everything will work out. He seems so simple and boyish.
Although, he's so... sad. Like sort of the way a clown might be sad. I really am fond of him and his lyrics.
Maybe I'm entering another phase of Korean music liking... not so much for the hard rap from Epik High, who are now Epikly failing with 99.
What's more is that Leessang music doesn't really bring me to another place in my memory... which I'm thankful for because Big Bang brings me back to this weird sort of place in my mind.
This has become a small piece on my Korean music lovin'. Weird.
I'm experience vertigo, on a different note.
Thursday, November 01, 2012
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state of translucency // 9:27 pm
The turtle is dying.
When you sit floating and you feel gravity upside down and you're dizzy from living from spinning spinning, you zone out. An ethereal waking walk. The wind blows into you and out of you, through.
In the middle of the day, the colours come back to you, the colours of your dreams, the white noise of dreams, the flashes, like forgotten, lost memories. By snippets. Misty red, a bit of yellow. You shake and it's gone. The anxiety seizes you, you tense up, you are okay. The anxiety of your dream. A factual fiction you cannot hold, cannot keep. You are sure you were awake for this, awake for this sleeping.
There's music with a milky sort of feeling to it. Heavier milk, almost cream, but not. The quality is strange and hard to describe. Maybe it's a beauty is in the eye of its beholder thing.
gaelli gaelli
I'm leaving this... leaving myself slowly.
Just hanging there, still, drying and dying. The poor turtle.
