talking of Michaelangelo.
Monday, April 25, 2016
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be the reason // 8:20 am
There's a younger teacher at my school (god, I didn't think I would ever say that, sometimes we
think wish we're forever young), she's a smiley, cheerful girl. Happy-go-lucky with not a hint of jadedness to her. Kind of fresh and green (how I wish I could say that about myself now). I recently added her on my contact list for work purposes and her profile quote says,
Be the reason someone smiles today.
(Parentheses are the
worst best.)
Sunday, April 24, 2016
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// 11:11 pm
In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts: they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty. - Ralph Waldo Emmerson
Reminds me of so many authors I've liked.
Saturday, April 23, 2016
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loathing // 11:24 pm
I want to claw my own face into shreds. Bloodied, it will remind myself of the shame I deserve.
See what you have done now. See what you have done to yourself. You are a sac of shit with nothing to offer. No virtue, no patience. There is no renaissance of the self. There is nowhere to go. Stop being dramatic.
It's all just a farce; so why don't you look into a mirror and see, clawing your face open did nothing and it did not free you. It only made you uglier.
Give me a mirror.
Friday, April 22, 2016
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self-inflicted // 4:01 pm
When you want something and you don't want to say it or can't without feeling like the worst person ever...
Lonely. I want to cry.
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
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just go on // 9:04 am
Having the kind of week where everything goes wrong. The wrong outfit for the wrong weather, wrong worksheets, missed chances, spills...... but Kimmy Schmidt Season 2 finally came out! I wanted to comment on it last season but of course it slipped my mind as many things do. It's actually a really stupid show but its spirit perks me up.
Oh, the sun will rise in the morning,
or so I’m told, but who knows?
You could win a million bucks in the morning
and then get rolled by a mob of stinkin’ hobos
Good news, you can’t lose when you tell Mr. Blues that you choose to keep going
We’ll never stop, we’ll keep on moving forward,
even if we don’t know what we’re moving toward
They say life’s too short, but they’re wrong — it’s so long
Sometimes the only way to go is to just go on.
Keep a smile in your pocket when the wolf is rat-a-tattin’ at the door,
just lock it tight
Keep a dream in your heart and you’ll never ever want for more,
unless you’re in a knife fight
Chin high, spit in the eye of the folks who can’t stop laughing at the stupid things you’ve done,
Don't stop even though your heart is breaking,
Don’t lookover your shoulder at the love you left behind
They say life’s too short, but they’re wrong — it’s so long
Sometimes the only way to go is to just go on
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
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spring downpour // 1:19 pm
Oh, it's that time.
Soaked in rainwater up to my knees this morning.
Burial of the Dead
APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
Summer surprised us, coming over the Starnbergersee
With a shower of rain; we stopped in the colonnade,
And went on in sunlight, into the Hofgarten,
And drank coffee, and talked for an hour.
I feel like I'm in an airplane all the time for some reason. Even when I'm outside. It's like the whole world is an airplane going nowhere, going nowhere at all. (Dreams too.)
Worst thing is my ears won't pop.
(But physically, there's no pressure at all. No pressure at all)
Thanks for defining this month, Eliot.
My (airplane) wasteland
