talking of Michaelangelo.
Thursday, September 28, 2017
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human // 10:10 am
Stop allowing yourself to have expectations for people; you'll just continuously be disappointed. No, we're not perfect.
Wednesday, September 27, 2017
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a rhapsody for you and me // 2:57 pm
And now your song is on repeat
And I’m dancin' on to your heartbeat
And when you’re gone, I feel incomplete
So, if you want the truth...
I just wanna be part of your symphony
Will you hold me tight and not let go?
Clean Bandit
(The music twists and turns.
And that unique electro-tinkering, mm.)
Monday, September 25, 2017
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don't think twice // 7:39 pm
At what cost do dreams come?
Thursday, September 21, 2017
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thursday afternoon boredom // 3:08 pm
BOMBASTIC
Wednesday, September 20, 2017
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mr. bradbury, my muse // 7:46 am
It was some sort of failed drama competition with so much constructive criticism, and it was called "butt ugly". But Mr. Bradbury, with his coiffed thin moustache, pasty, rectangular-ish face, was tall. He disappeared behind the hall curtain, like a circus tent, so I ran after him, I wanted to hear what he had to say.
He was selling T-shirts, with abstract but profoundly insightful designs on them, reflecting each play in the competitions. He had these blueprints for each of his shirts, drawing and sketches that built his art up. But he was too busy to talk to him.
And all of a sudden, I was in a cableless glass elevator in Dubai, shooting upwards into an artificial ceiling'd sky. Or maybe it was the real sky. Who knows.
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
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how pathetic // 7:30 am
Your greed for warmth has led you to your most icy core. Your karma is served here on a silver platter. Your desperation is written all over you.
Jog with Strokes. Losing some.
With the sunrise comes a new day.
Look forward.
Monday, September 18, 2017
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head below the surface // 9:34 pm
When the noise in the room is different from the music inside your head and you are struggling, you want to walk, run, swim away from it as much as you can.
He's right though, being in the water is good. (But are you floating or just slowly drowning?)
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bad mind space // 10:14 am
Somewhere, in my dreams, I am lost in a kind of space time warp of an isolated place. It's full of dry weeds and dead trees. I am looking for you, but knowing you aren't there. You don't exist there. I am not searching, I am not even moving. I can't do anything. There I am.
This is not a good place to be on a Monday morning. Two paper cuts and a new bruise forming already.
I can't be here.
I can't be here.
Please, please, please, go away, please go away. Please.
Friday, September 15, 2017
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memories turn to dust // 2:03 pm
These four lonely walls have changed the way I feel
The way I feel
I'm standing still
And nothing else matters now, you're not here
So where are you?
I've been callin' you
I'm missin' you
Where else can I go? Where else can I go?
Chasin' you, chasin' you
Memories turn to dust
Please don't bury us, I got you
I got you
Runnin', runnin', runnin', runnin'
Runnin', runnin', runnin'
Ain't runnin' from myself no more
Together we'll win it all
I ain't runnin', runnin', runnin', runnin'
Runnin', runnin', runnin'
Ain't runnin' from myself no more
I'm ready to face it all
If I lose myself, I lose it all
...
If I lose myself, I lose it all
If I lose myself, I lose it all
If I lose myself, I lose it all
If I lose myself, I lose it all
Beyoncé
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tangled mosaics // 7:17 am
His mind is like so. An extraordinary kind of mystery, that endlessly creates webs and connections.
His mind opens my eyes to the possibilities of greater, of The Vast beyond the after, woven in threads of consciousness, which, are a complicated thing, he explains.
He says he knows why people like turtles. They "are the most comfortable thing between above and below the surface. First entry into the deep, they're safe with their shell."
(Aside: leg spasms of late, night confusions, time to make some tea and go about the day, need to let go of some things)
Wednesday, September 13, 2017
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happy birthday // 8:10 am
happy birthday and happy birthday, late, again
I feel it all when I am close, close, close to you.
The good and all the things it comes with.
Monday, September 11, 2017
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a comic tragedy or a tragic comedy // 6:58 pm
In exchange, all you get is a tin of shortbread cookies, heartache and confusion.
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play // 3:43 pm
We sometimes act on the stage, but most of the acting we do is off it. And who's face do we need to take on today? Every day, we play someone we don't even know, not know for real. Sometimes we have to play someone we don't like, or play that we like someone we don't like or not like someone we do. Most of the time, we have to play a fool. (A fool is easier to play than anyone else.)
It's so convincing, you can't distinguish the actor and player and character and it's all muddy. You do it to yourself. But in the core of it, it is nothing in nothing, when you strip away the actually non-existent character on top of the character on top of the player and and you get rid of it all to the end when you are left with nothing. (But, the characters can be so deeply poignant, profoundly troubling and fascinating, they're hard to let go, hard to take off.)
It's different with an audience isn't it? You play more carefully, more tactfully, you play with skill, with a twinkle in your eye, with a different energy. You play harder, you let the adrenaline take you. So they see you. So they see you that's not you. So they see something and not nothing. At the very end of it all, it is meaningless and you are only left with that empty empty empty empty empty empty empty
Left by yourself, the game is different, the player can be a little bit mad, because who is there to play for? What for? Ah! Don't leave yourself with yourself for too long, the nothing eventually catches up and those characters' faces you so painstakingly put on, they peel off, becoming broken masks, fading make-up. It's dangerous! Who knows what nothing is? People see your nothing and the terrifying empty will make them stop playing with you. (But they don't know it, they don't know it, they are all just playing too.)
It isn't fun! This playing isn't fun! I want to leave it, I don't want to play anymore!
Things that cannot be can never be.
Cue music.
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us.
Exeunt all.
Queen, again.
Tuesday, September 05, 2017
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look what you just made me do // 10:34 pm
(We all have to move on some day.)
Gosh it has so much attitude.
I'm not saying it's a good song.
The role you made me play
Of the fool
It just has so. much. attitude.
but I got harder, I got smarter in the nick of time
honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time
I've got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined
Do I hear K-pop influence in this song?
I'll be the actress starring in your bad dreams.
Tay
Monday, September 04, 2017
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in my head // 1:15 pm
There's no time for us,
There's no place for us,
What is this thing that builds our dreams, yet slips away from us.
Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever.....?
There's no chance for us,
It's all decided for us,
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us.
Who wants to live forever,
Who dares to love forever,
When love must die.
But touch my tears with your lips,
Touch my world with your fingertips,
And we can have forever,
And we can love forever,
Forever is our today,
Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever,
Forever is our today,
Who waits forever anyway?
Queen
